You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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