i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
