I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
