at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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