It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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