elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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