no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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