Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
