He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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