i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
