I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
