is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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