He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i now understand why vodka
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
