She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
