Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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