Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
