my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
