Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
