I didn't shave. On purpose
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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