omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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