enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
