shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
