idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
