she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
