He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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