Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Life is so much better after having sex.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
