I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
