Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
