clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
