about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
