do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
As shirtless as possible
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
