We named our party play list daddy issues
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
