Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Me too!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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