Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
