heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
