what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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