Your face is a jimmy john
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
