We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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