Need sex. Gaining weight.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
