This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
