oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
