don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
