You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
