Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
