Are we in a gay sports bar?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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