And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
