she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
