no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
