He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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