the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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