I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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