after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
