so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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