Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
